Comments on: On Jealousy

By: Erin McMillen

Erin McMillen — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 22:47:51 +0000

I so agree with all of these statements about jealousy.
Jealousy/possessiveness/allowing others to dictate one’s life are one in the same to me. Good relationships are about respect, the ability to work through issues and evolve together and realize when unhealthy emotions, people or conditions are interfering.

Mike and I have one rule- communicate honestly always. Because of that, the respect we have for each other is untouchable, which makes our marriage unbreakable.

My thoughts are with you and Shosh.

By: George-pc

George-pc — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 10:16:58 +0000

Jealousy is mostly cruel to all involved including the person feeling jealous and the party projected upon. Hurts, fear of loss, envy, greed, competetive spirit, enmity, anger and resentment etc. are all rooted in, or relate to jealousy. The only good jealousy I see at this point is the jealousy of God in protecting His children or a man protecting his wife.

By: ladykingslyk

ladykingslyk — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:42:31 +0000

HEAR!HEAR! I whole-heartedly agree. I have been blessed to have been in a long lasting relationship in which there has been a great amount of trust and virtually no jealousy. I feel that if you have trust in your s.o. that they will not stray, no amount of flirtation on another’s part should cause harm to your relationship. In a sense, if they truly love you they will not stray. If they do stray, the relationship was doomed to begin with.

By: Peter

Peter — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:02:29 +0000

Yes and no.

Jealousy is the irrational expression of a rational realization of the loss of control one has when one opens up in a relationship. It’s not in and of itself good, but the underlying realizations can lead to positive moves once the irrational is surmounted.

It’s akin to religion-based xenophobia. We take relationships on faith, just as we do our spiritual belief, so when a new and conflicting idea/really hot cutie wanders into the equation our faith, be it in some superior power, in a transcendental oversoul or in our companion’s unwillingness to crush our heart like a grape under a combat boot, is tested. And really, we don’t know what will happen. We believe, but we don’t know, and even when one is pretty damn sure about things that’s not comfortable. (I say this as one of little faith and massive control issues…thanks, Dad.)

Just like religion, one can deal with it a number of ways. People of rock solid faith don’t see the threat of the hottie/competing belief system, and are seemingly beyond jealousy/religious anxiety. In actuality they merely lack the imagination to be worried. Many people see the threat of the hottie/competing belief system, feel the jealousy/religious anxiety, and freak out. And that would be a significant portion of Reagan/Bush/McCain voters. Islamophobes, homophobes, and the jerks who forbid their spouses from hanging out with anyone perceived as a threat. I’d like to think I’m beyond that, but I feel the twinge every once and a while. I remind myself the only thing I can do is be a damn good husband and partner for my wife, and maybe I’ll buy her flowers just for the hell of it.

Like religious faith, a relationship devoid of threat is empty. If there is no doubt, faith is a meaningless gesture. It’s knowledge, and mere science. If there’s no doubt in a relationship…well, you’re living with a blow-up doll, not a partner, and why value that?

I’m just rambling here. If any of this makes sense it’s a random concurrence of organic matter and not the product of a higher consciousness.